I have a sob story to post today, so feel free to offer your pity as you see fit.
I wanted to go to Walmart to buy some hairclips because I don't know what to do with this savage mane anymore. It took me 45 minutes to get the kids ready, what with the screaming and the running and the pooping and the hiding.
Mission Dress 3 children: complete!
Oops, found a kid playing in the toilet!
Mission Re-dress Nicky: complete!
To be proactive, I tried to pump up the tire on the stroller before I left (it has a slow leak). Unfortunately the valve was imbedded so I gave it a tug, then a bend, and then a yank, and it came off in my hands.
Mission tire destruction: complete!
So, I loaded up the kids, and headed to the store. The lot was full, but I have ways of coping with that.
Mission park illegally: complete!
The stroller with the flat tire and two kids in it required all my strength to push it. Like a workhorse, I had to put all my weight behind it to keep it moving straight.
Mission pull ligament in right arm: complete!
Got tired of that workout and moved the kids to a shopping cart. One in the seat, one in the basket area. This did not prove to be a good idea either, especially since there were no seatbelts.
Mission keep kids seated in shopping cart without resorting to threats and embarassing displays in public: no comment.
My 4-year-old wants to see the fish, shop for Hotwheels and and browse the candy. He decides to do this without me noticing.
Mission frantically locate 4-yr-old: complete!
Found some nice hair clips, a new brush, and misc. toiletries in under 4 mins. My son asked me for the 100th time if we could eat at McDonald's.
Mission get pissed off and leave everything and go home: complete!
I was so close! If I shave my head, I think people would understand.