Where The Hell Have I Been?
Dear blog buddies,
I have been kidnapped.
Do not tell anyone.
Do not call the police or the Mounties.*
Several weeks ago I was accosted by a slim, white, 30MB male who threw me in his harddrive and drove me to the iTunes store. We ate cake there. I am still there and I cannot leave. It is very good cake.
Also, I have been chained to the laptop by three different alter-egos. They are insatiable. They torture me with plot-bunnies and make me write stories. They are addicted to the Thesaurus. I fear for my life: if I don't find the right synonym, I know I will die.
Please do not send ransom money. They will only buy cake and more thesauruses with it.
Once I find a way to overpower these terrible felons, I will escape/flee/run away/break out.
I love you all.
*Okay, call them. I tip well ;)