Sunday, January 14, 2007

Pillow Talk

Another real-time discussion starring Franny and Hubby:

Me: Honey, can I ask you an important question?

Hubby: Sure. Anything darling.

Me: Okay, here it is. Would you sign your soul over to me?

Hubby: *romantically* Of course I would.

Me: *smacks hubby* What are you, stupid?!!?

Hubby: But I trust you!!

Me: That's not trust, that's idiotic! I wouldn't sign my soul over to YOU! What if you were pissed at me one day, and you tore it up and chucked it in the sewer, just to be mean?

Hubby: *laughing* I wouldn't do that!

Me: What if you were short a ticket for the GO Train and you saw the ticket taker nearby and you validated my soul for the ride instead!? Then I'd be up shit creek without a soul! For a friggin TRAIN RIDE! Or what if some hoochie gets with you and just for fun she says "ooh baby, lets have sex on your wife's soul!" Like EW! That's my SOUL we're talking about! I don't want you and some floozy doing it on my soul!

*dying of laughter*

Me: Don't take it personal, but you don't trust your soul with ANYONE! Geez, think about it! If I had your soul, you would have to walk around all the time feeling like there was a sniper in a tower aiming at you for the rest of your life! You'd have to watch every step, because I could send you to hell on a whim!

Hubby: Did you hear that? It's the sound of a knife being shoved in my back!

Me: *muttering* I still can't believe you said you would sign your soul over to me! You're bloody insane!

And what would you have said if I had said that I WOULDN'T sign my soul over to you?

I would have been mad as hell!

Hubby: So basically, the right answer doesn't exist.

Precisely. If you say yes, you have no balls. If you say no, you're a heartless jerk.

Hubby: Insightful - nice to know I lose no matter what. But what if we're soulmates and we already own each other's souls, whether we like it or not? And if we put our souls together in a drawer, will they multiply like rabbits, making dozens of little souls?

Hmm...I don't think souls have sex. I assume they relate on a higher level than that. I just can't see souls getting jiggy.

Hubby: *laughing* You're gonna blog this, aren't you?

What makes you say that???


At 2:27 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's very funny! I guess that signing over your soul to someone is like signing a blank check.


PS Thanks for the inspiration. ;)

At 8:15 AM , Blogger Kimberly said...

too funny! poor hubby! when will he ever learn that the best answer is to snore and he's asleep?!

At 11:33 AM , Blogger Christopher said...

Well, what about when you're so in love with the other person that you can't tell where your soul ends and theirs begins? What if you both get so lost in each other, that boundaries and ownership become a moot point?

To Cat: You see my friend, the only correct response to a loaded question like the one you were posed is a romantic, rhetorical question that is so indicative of your sweetness and devotion, she has no choice but to exclaim what a wonderful hubby you are. This is typically followed by cooing and snuggling in copious amounts :)

At 4:46 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hilarious - what on earth inspired you to ask the question in the first place? Please tell me it wasn't that Simspon's episode.

At 4:28 PM , Blogger jellyhead said...

I believe this is what's referred to as a 'lose-lose' situation?!


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