Monday, October 17, 2005

Demons and Psychos and Wolves, OH MY!

We went on this creepy ghost walk on Saturday night, in a creepy wood on a creepy night. The bright moon, the moving clouds, the dead forest, the ruins of a once-grand estate...all the elements were in place for a deliciously frightening experience.

However, it's difficult to be scared in a group of 50 people.

First of all, if there were evil spirits there, they'd probably possess the guy with the tattoos first, or at least someone with extensive body piercings - more ways to enter? I'd say the goths would be an excellent choice too. They're already halfway there.

Or let's say some psycho cat-skinning rapist lurked nearby: there were plenty of more petite young women to drag off into the woods, never to be seen again. Let's face it. I am 5'11". I weigh - well, let's not talk about my weight. My point is, I am not the ideal victim. I am a lot of work.

We were warned of wild animals, specifically wolves. Again, even a whole pack of wolves will only be able to pick off about 5-6 people before the rest run screaming to their cars. My odds are pretty good there. And if they're smart wolves, they'll go after the guy with the cane first. Easy meat!

And then there were the ravines. Only those without flashlights and those that were drunk to all hell were likely to fall and break their necks. I had a flashlight, as well as a crucifix, just in case, ha ha. (*nervous laugh*)

So, I'm not scared. Here's the (gory) logic:

No. of people possessed by demons: 6
No. of people killed by the people possessed by demons: 6
No. of petite young women dragged into the woods by psychos: 10
No. of petite young men dragged into the woods by psychos: 2
No. of people eaten by wolves: 5
No. of people falling into ravine (no flashlight): 8
No. of people falling into ravine (drunk): 12

TOTAL no. of people massacred, maimed, murdered, etc: 49

Therefore, total number of people making it out of the woods alive and demanding a refund: ME

See? I'll be okay!


At 8:48 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

wow that many people in our group got picked off? I guess I was ok cause I was standing with the big guy behind me!

it would have been far creepier if there hadn't been so many loud idiots laughing throughout the whole thing.

Need a smaller group next time!

Kim :) (a survivor)

At 4:23 PM , Blogger Pete Mitchell said...

Kim doesn't know yet that she was one of the ones possessed by a demon, does she?

Uh-oh. Everybody be nice to Kim.

At 9:46 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

I'm not possessed...the psycho kitty would have picked it up!

besides I said the mantra that would stop them from following me...I sent them to your house...don't answer the never know when the MADD midgets will come back to haunt you!

Kim :)


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