Enter the Boudoir

Welcome to my bedroom. We have the candles, we have the Sarah McLachlan CD on, we have the warm bodies, the soft bed, the 2am darkness, the building passion and the sweet sound of

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK on the bedroom door.

Hubby: "Ignore him, he'll go away."

Me: "Good idea."

We continue.

BLAM BLAM BLAM on the bedroom door.

Hubby: "Let's just be really quiet."

Me: "Umm, okay..."

We continue, uneasily.

"MOMMY? DADDY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?"

Hubby: "We're SLEEPING!"

Me: "Great, now he knows we're awake."

Hubby: "What do you want me to do, IGNORE him?"

Me: "Well it was YOUR idea!"

I roll over. Hubby's cut off.

"MOMMY, I CAN'T FIND MY MOMMY DUCK or my BABY DUCK!"

Me: "Okay, I'm coming, hold on."

Hubby: "No, you wait here, darling. We'll pick up where we left off. I promise!"

Yay.

Hubby hastily makes himself decent and scurries off. I wait, feeling as hot and passionate as a wet cardboard box. 60 to 0 in .8 seconds.

Hubby returns, smiling and all sure of himself. 0-100 in .8 seconds.

Hubby: "So where were we, baby?"

Me: "We were arguing."

Hubby: "We were? Arguing about what?"

Me: "Nevermind."

Hubby: "WHAT? What did I do now?"

Me: "Just forget it."

Hubby: "But I thought we were having a great time!"

Me: "We were."

Hubby: "So why are we fighting?"

Me: "Cuz I'm mad."

Hubby: "Fine then. I'm mad too."

Me: "Why the heck are YOU mad now?"

Hubby: "Because I am in bed with a beautiful woman and she is irrestible but she won't let me get close to her."

Me: "Oh."

I remedy the situation. We continue to remedy over and over and over until

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.