Thursday, September 22, 2005

Beware the Word Police

Have you ever known a person who had no ideas of their own? We all do. You know, the person who never takes an initiative, who does things as they have always been done, who never looks for a better way, who has no optimistic drive/innovative spirit/sense of humor? Have you also noticed that these moss-covered, stagnant pools of humanity are the SAME PEOPLE who are the literal SHARP SHOOTERS when it comes to bringing down a new idea/perspective brought up by someone else? Even if they don't fully understand the context or the point, if someone else is saying it, it MUST be wrong:

Jim in HR: "Since we have had such high turnover and job dissatisfaction, I thought we could start doing surveys based on the new best practices manual -"
"Sheila" in Ops: "POW!"

Andrea in Finance: "The year end budget is looking phenonenal! By the end of the quarter, we can expand into several new areas -"
"Sheila" in Ops: "POW!"

John: "My beloved, we make each other so very happy, we have been dating for 10 years, I love you (*gets down on one knee*). I guess what I am trying to say is (*takes out a small box*), would you make me the happiest man in the world by saying- "
"Sheila" in Ops: "POW!"

Sheila is a member of the WORD POLICE. They think everyone needs the honor of their two cents (usually offered over the shoulder as they are walking away). Their favorite line : YOU CAN'T SAY THAT!

To make their lives easier, I have composed the definitive list of...

THINGS YOU CAN'T SAY
1. Any opinion that is not the same as everyone
else's in the whole world.
2. Any admission of a fault or a personal failing.
3. Any remarks that are funny or scary or creative or courageous or thought-provoking.


To help Sheila and her buddies out, kindly print this list and post it on every doorway, on every pen & pencil, on every sheet of paper and on every computer keyboard as a handy reminder. Sticker versions will be made available soon for use over the mouth.

2 Comments:

At 2:31 PM , Blogger Pete Mitchell said...

Of course I NEVER say anything that people might find inappropriate. Please accept my order for 50,000 of your post-its notes. I will use them well.

And thanks. I love your writing too.

;)

 
At 7:03 PM , Blogger British Stu said...

It needed to be said.

My hat's off.

 

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