Young Minds

I am alarmed by children's programming these days. Allow me to explain:

Dora the Explorer: Where are this girl's parents? Her and that wierd little monkey traipsing over volcanos and crocodile lakes. I think the Children's Aid Society needs to pay a visit to that household.

Bear in the Big Blue House: Is it just me that finds it creepy that he smells the kids watching his show? "Mmm, you smell like salmon and blueberries!" Am I the only one who know what bears eat?

Bob the Builder: You can't hide behind that macho job, buddy. I'm on to you. You're a big fan of the Village People. Wendy, look elsewhere.

Caillou: The kid is four and he has NO HAIR. Look it up.

The Berenstain Bears: The mother cheerfully cooks, cleans and sews all day in an apron and dress. Plus, there's always a morality lesson shoved at you. Might as well get a pulpit and call it the The Berenstain Bears Hour of Power, complete with a hotline to make donations.

Blues Clues: Okay, I love Blues Clues. Joe is HOT.

The Wiggles: One guy is a compulsive overeater, another is a narcoleptic. The 2 sane guys keep them under control. It's like a psychiatric ward, except with an octopus, a pirate, a gigantic 2-legged dog and a green dinosaur...

In my day we watched wholesome shows like He-Man; Masters of the Universe, and RoboTech and Transformers. A few sword swings, a couple laser blasts & bombs and the bad guys run/fly off, waving their fists and saying "You haven't seen the last of me!", which is true cuz they were always back the next episode.

Hey, at least it wasn't confusing.