Swearasaurus

I need to watch my language. As much as I try to be a nurturing mom, a stimulating mom, an everything-for-the-children mom, (aka: a "Good Mom"), my unadultered use of impolite expletives are rubbing off on the children, and making it all for naught. For example:

Good Mom: Look honey! It's a note from our friend Piglet, and he needs our help to find him! He's lost in the park and it's his naptime!

Daughter, age 4: HOLY SHIT!

**

Good Mom: We can't use your blanket tonight sweetheart, because you puked on it and mommy's washing it. But you can use mommy's blanket instead!

Son, age 4: Aw mommy, you're the effing best. *hugs*

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Good Mom: And God bless grandma, and grandpa, and our teachers and- is there anyone else we'd like to bless?

Son, age 6: What about the asshole who cut us off at the light?

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To keep my kids from being sent to the principal's office, I've decided to curse at my enemies and frustrating situations in a different language! For example, the next time I am cut off at the light, I can scream:
Da bi ti vse krave crknile! (Which is Slovenian for "I wish your cows will drop dead!")

Or, if I'm double-charged on my credit card statement:
Äitisi nai poroja! (Finnish, for "your mother copulates with reindeer")

And on those days that you need something EXTRA special:
Ssi v kompot, tam povor nogi moet! (Russian for "go urinate in the punchbowl while the cook is washing his legs in it"!)

Yes, I may be a vamadoola*, baa**, or a linguistic kaynay***, but at least I am not, nor ever will be, a complete kokëderr****.


*"wierdo" in Punjabi
**"crazy" in Thai
***"fool" in Tamil
**** ha ha, you'll never know!