The RASH Method
Today I was driving to work and pondering heroes. (Book, TV & movie heroes, like Harry Potter and Superman) I started thinking: what if I was approached in downtown Metropolis by three evil flying anti-heros wearing black pleather outfits, would I battle them like Superman did? When cornered in the Department of Mysteries by a crowd of ravenous murdering Voldemort-worshippers, would I take them on single-handedly?
Franny would RUN AWAY and SCREAM for HELP. (RASH for short.) You do this loudly and with your arms and legs flailing for optimum effect.
I would make a rotten 'fictional hero' because heroes don't use the RASH method. No one wants Batman to say to the Joker, "EEEK, just hold off on the battery acid for a sec, I'm notifying the cops!"
If Harry Potter used the RASH method, the books would be pretty short.
Spiderman would be a bit of a pussy.
Even Hamlet would read differently. Eg:
Hamlet: *running away* Arghh....my mom is a slut and that guy killed my dad and my girlfriend is a depressing psycho! Somebody help me!
Spiderman: You can come hang out with me, heh heh heh...
(Ok, yes I am aware that Spiderman does not appear in Shakespeare. Though I now have an excellent idea for a future blog...)
Ok so my point is, the RASH Method ain't for the 'hero' types, but it can work for us normal folk, in everyday life. Eg:
Get a bad job evaluation? Run away and scream for help!
Car stuck in traffic? Run away and scream for help!
Having trouble 'in the bedroom'? Run away and scream for help! (well, quietly)
Good luck everyone out there, and remember: choosing your battles means RUN AWAY if you're outnumbered.