Office Party

Most people hate office Christmas parties. I did too. Until tonight.

The booze was a-flowin'. I have been here only 2 months, so everyone wanted to meet the new girl. I was at this party for less than 2 hours and I found people were volunteering information to me about themselves as we chatted quietly over hors d'ouvres. Here's the sum of what I now know about my coworkers (using pseudonyms of course):

#1. "Dinah" can really hold her liquor and once drunk her supervisor under the table and then got fired.

#2. "Betty" in another department had a nervous breakdown at work and went catatonic until the ambulance came.

#3. "Gwen" is married but NOT to the man she is living with. He is married too, but not to her.

#4. "Mandy's" teenage son made a lot of money trafficing marijuana. Apparently it was just a "phase".

#5. "Jill" has some scandalous theories about how/why "Gertrude" had broken her wrist 3x in 6 months.

#6. "Lynne" likes my boss. A lot.

#7. "Maureen" hopes her ex-husband dies before she retires so that she won't have to share her pension 50/50. She also encourages him to smoke more.

#8. Everyone thinks I am wide-eyed and innocent enough to be harmless with their deep dark secrets. They also thought I would remember nothing because I was drinking too. (I was not.)

'Tis the season to be jolly, fa la la la la, la la, la la.