Monday, November 21, 2005

Blog Bonus Features

I thought today I would share with you the magic that goes on behind the scenes here at Franny's Fables.

The Crew:
We have a hardworking crew of one, and that's me, unless you count my husband who occupies the kids while I write. Then that's two.

Casting:
The role of Franny was originally going to be played by Catharine Zeta-Jones, but I was chosen as I had significantly more experience in the role.

Catering:
Raisins, Vodka, Diet Pepsi. It's gotta be Diet Pepsi...give that primadonna (me) Diet Coke and I'll storm off to my trailer!

Editing:
When I blog I usually start with a topic, write the whole damn thing with extreme care and then delete it all. The reasons are usually among the following:
1) It was too racy for my audience
2) It would put my mental health/fitness to raise children/or ability to operate motor vehicles in question
3) It was stupid
Usually it's #3. So then I'll rewrite, change the topic, tone, etc. This is where my gemini duality/schophrenia really shines. I hope you're happy with the results!

Deleted Scenes:
From"Something Wicked...": "OH MY GOD! IT'S HUGE! I'M SOOO IMPRESSED! CAN I TOUCH IT?"
From "4 Wailings and a Funeral": "And I'm still breaking out from the bloody clown makeup!"

Snobby British Director's Commentary:
"You see, blogging is an artistic medium, much like mashed potatoes. You can just eat it, OR you can play with it, and change it's shape, you can add flavoring and sculpt it. You can even keep it as a documentation of who you were, but a blog will smell better after two or three years behind the couch."

Blooper Reel:
"Holy fucking piss-ass freaking shit! I can't fucking believe those kids will not stop screaming for one fucking second so I can friggin-what? Oh, we're blogging? Oops. Ha ha."
"Honey, not now...honey, not now...hee hee...can't you see? I'm trying to... oooh...blog...mmmmhh...OH! Well, okay, just let me type at the same time..."

4 Comments:

At 10:13 PM , Blogger MacManus said...

Ok...now that was funny! LMAO

 
At 9:47 AM , Blogger Magdalena said...

That was hilarious! And the Blogscar goes to ...

 
At 10:17 AM , Blogger Pete Mitchell said...

That was classic!

And explains those weird emails we periodically get that read:

"Hi. How are yjfgpgojig'nlhoqjfprmmgmpu69gnk'l;slmfarjghq4tj'gnaspghjqs'sldsnadghe-98et89uqioinfan'v;msdalghraotqoghs[kldvkns;avbars'mMJQWOTH'KLKVNBDJ;NSRA'LTMQ[TUTU9GHG[HPUUG0hngphq[tnq;ghq-rgeqglng;lajt[ioiqhag'kakgnar;ltjqe[hger;agkglnab;gjhjotghhrb'lnfd;kjkjarhjgj[reeoigyhrqaogjaf'fbkna;glm'aogjeprargihgf'bmnfdl;knts'lgker[optu431re[shjakgbaV?,a
g'asrkgadrhgaprhgakgjn;lajgg;alkjga;lgnadfbhag;dljkjnag;lgjajkfn;lajk

Gotta go. Love ya,Franny."

You should keep a glass of cold water by the computer to cool off Cat's ardour until you're finished.

 
At 2:53 PM , Anonymous Lorraine said...

I got to your blog through Andrea's blog...what a piss! So good to have a laugh when things are so depressing in the world. Keep it up.

 

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