Career Criminals

"Behind every great fortune there is a crime." - Honore de Balzac

We were scribbling with crayons the other day when one went missing. And then another one. Puzzled, I searched under the book, the couches, everywhere. No luck. Two days later, I find the stub of a green crayon in my toddler's mouth. And the rest in his diaper. Three days later, the same, but with orange this time. Turns out my not-yet-2-yr-old son Nicky was hiding the crayons so he could eat them at a later date. I now know that my sweetheart with the most delicate innocent angel babyface is a thief (and a good one too)! Kinda like an "Ocean's Eleven" kind of thief - you know he's bad but he's so good at being bad you can't stop luvvin the boy.

My preschooler Joey, on the other hand, would make a terrible criminal. Too passionate that one. He's the kind of person that, when faced with the overwhelming evidence in court, would jump up and yell "OK ALREADY! WE ALL KNOW I ROBBED THE DAMN CASINO, NOW YOU'RE JUST PISSING ME OFF!" He's a DA's dream come true.

Now about my daughter Natalie...just a toddler, she's all shining and happy and charming and loveable. But what is the little lady capable of when I'm not around? I know she pushes her bigger brothers around. I know she throws herself on the ground to act victimized when I come running. Yes, she's the brains of the outfit. Of all of them, she'll come away smelling like roses when the heist goes foul. She'll keep away from the action enough to not go down with the pack, but have planned the whole thing so that she can bust the boys out of jail with the stolen cash.

And the boys will never rat her out because they fear her wrath.

And at the end of the day, doesn't every mom just want her kids to work together?