The Poetry Infiltration

Ok, brace yourselves...I went to a poetry reading last night! Now some of you may be confused/concerned about this, so I've assembled a list of frequently asked questions, for your convenience.

Poetry Reading FAQs:

So Franny, now that you've gone to a poetry reading, does this mean that you are better than me?
No, this does not mean that I am better than you (not ALL of you anyways). If I wasn't already better than you, then chances are I'm still not.

Are you gonna be saying things like "herself" and "thou" from now on?
No, this does not mean I will now be speaking about myself in the 3rd person. And no, this doesn't mean that everything I say will be written in metaphor. Conversational english and "slang" will still apply to my blog. (see next answer)

Can we expect a rhyming blog in the near future?
No. And fuck off.

Are people who read at poetry readings "normal'?
No. All of them are weird and dangerous in one way or another, and when they seem normal, that's when you should really be worried. Except for my awesome poetic writer friend Mark Leslie. He's the most normal of the bunch...

What do poets eat?
Puppies. Though some are vegan.

I once went to a poetry reading in the 60's and they were snapping and wearing funny hats called berets. Is that what it was like?
Sounds like you went to a boring poetry reading. The only hats I saw were the tiny little tin-foil ones on the genitals of the strippers.

Can you hook me up with a hot, young poet?
Sure, I know just the girl for you. She was wearing red and blames the patriarchy for the rape and pillage of the she-goddess, "mother earth".

Do you have any advice for aspiring poets like myself?
Yes. Take off all of your clothes at work, stride into your boss' office, and tell him/her you're a poet and you know it.
And don't forget the hat.