Tuesday, January 31, 2006

The Crowded Island

It's February in Canada. Being stranded on an isolated tropical island, even if it were filled with water-borne diseases and cannibals (mmm, white meat!), doesn't seem so bad to me right now. At least it would be warm & sunny. And there would be no dress code. In fact, I don't even feel bad for the people on "Lost" at all. Sure, they have to scream and run for their lives a lot, but do they have to warm up their cars for 20 minutes so they can chip the ice off the windshield? I don't think so.

So while I'm imagining tropical bliss, I may as well have company while I'm there. No "Wilson" volleyballs for me! Since this is my blog and I can do pretty much whatever I like here, I'm getting stranded on a tropical island with some REALLY neat company. I proudly present to you...

Franny's Top Ten Historical People To Be Stranded On An Island With (and why)

10. Marie Antoinette - hopefully with her head. Seems like she'd know how to mix drinks, & I could try on her clothes.
9. William Wallace (aka Braveheart) - coconuts, meet broadsword. Oh, and Franny, meet broadsword.
8. Leonardo Da Vinci - imagine the sand sculptures!
7. William Shakespeare - to hone my art.
6. Napoleon Bonaparte - because we're gonna take over the world if we ever get off this island...
5. Sigmund Freud - to throw rocks at when we're all bored.
4. Albert Einstein - sure he's smart, but I need to know...can he cook?
3. King Arthur - for those days when I've worn out #9.
2. Cleopatra - for the pyjama party & moonlit pillow fights!
1. Galileo Galilei - to stargaze with, to dream with, and to figure out a way to get me back home. (*sweetie: For no matter where I am and how many miles and dead historical people there are between us, I would trade it all, just to be with you.)

Ahem! Sorry about that - -

Honourable mentions who didn't make the list: Mother Theresa, Gandhi, Anne Frank & Adolph Hitler. Why Hitler, you ask? Well Mother Theresa & Gandhi could make him feel really bad about himself and the horrible things he did. Then, when he's finally crying and really sorry and begging for forgiveness, they can hold him still while Anne Frank kicks the shit out of him.


At 8:22 PM , Blogger Motherkitty said...

Hilarious. Can I go with you? We could also take Stephen King to tell us stories when we get bored.

At 9:29 PM , Blogger MacManus said...

Bloody hell! Why is it that when ever there are naked (you did say naked right?), pillow fights between two hot women, they always have to happen on a deserted island...thats sooooo not fair!

At 9:32 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

LMAO, Anne Frank kicking the crap out of Hitler is something I would SO like to see!!!

At 10:42 PM , Blogger Christopher said...

I like the Anne Frank idea. I think it's even better than Adam Sandler's vision of Hitler in Hell! haha. (i.e., the film "Little Nicky", where Hitler is depicted in Hell, wearing a french maid costume, having thorny, raw, pineapples shoved up his heehaw on a daily basis).

At 9:47 AM , Blogger bornfool said...

I loved the last paragraph. lol.

At 10:18 AM , Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Your post was very imaginative & well thought out...and should I say funny too...but what caught my eye was your message to *sweety.
I think that was very touching...a lost love perhaps?

At 10:27 AM , Blogger Franny said...

A "found" love actually...
my highschool sweetheart, my island & my rock where dwells my heart and my home, forever and a day...

*winks at Mr.B.*

At 10:24 AM , Blogger Pete Mitchell said...

I love your island!!!! Can I come be stranded too? I can take care of Cleopatra between pillow fights while you're 'gettin busy' with Wallace and Arthur.

And we could spend so many happy hours together throwing rocks at Freud!!

At 11:19 AM , Blogger Magdalena said...

Hey, I want to come to the island too ... but only if I can bring my Sweetie (and no, I won't stop being mushy so you can all stop asking).

Hmmm ... is this island getting a little crowded? Maybe Chris and I will move in on the island next door or something and we can arrange island parties, tell Mary to bring the cake :P


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