Thursday, January 05, 2006

Is Nothing Sacred!?

World of Longmire is a site I stumbled upon today- now I've read my share of bodice-rippers, so I can honestly say that Longmire teased and greatly aroused my funny bone from its long slumber. Anyone with a cynical sense of humor will greatly enjoy the revised romance novel titles based on their melodramatic cover art...thanks Longmire, wherever you may be.

Anyhow, in honor of that VERY good laugh, I have decided to blog my day, ROMANCE NOVEL STYLE! (Please note that the following events may not have happened exactly as described - I will try not to laugh, but forgive me if I do.)

Late for Work

She raced up the walkway, her heart pounding, her skirts swirling about her trim ankles. Today would be the day. Then suddenly, she saw him, his golden locks whipping in the winter wind. His coat opened to reveal his firm & powerful chest. His cool crystal green eyes surveyed her rumpled, hurried state disapprovingly, and she shied in spite of herself. As he moved forward to hold open the door with his muscled arm, she instinctively knew what was coming next.

"You're late." He hissed as she passed in front of him.

"So are you."

She couldn't believe the challenge that had just escaped her full red lips. He stood taller, a bemused look crossing his chiseled face. She cringed. Had she gone too far? Her heart thundered in her breast like a thousand galloping steeds, and she found herself nervously playing with her long raven locks as they walked together up the spiral staircase. He had always had this effect on her, since the day they had met. At first she had thought it was mere intimidation - his size and girth was stallion-like, with rippling muscles and a quick gait to match. She was tiny in comparison, and had trouble keeping up with his manly strides.

Soon though, she had discovered that there was something more to her feelings about this man. Something deep within her virgin treasure (lmfao!) knew a truth that her mind and heart still did not comprehend. Something was yet unsaid between them. Something was yet undone. Still, his silence was unnerving, and she hoped that perhaps he had nothing more to say to her. She was wrong.

"Leave all your things upstairs and meet me in the south wing at noon." He turned away abruptly, leaving her to wonder what his smile had meant.


At 2:38 AM , Blogger Bob said...

I absolutely loved this Alice. You have officially put Fabio's "talent" for romance novel writing to shame. As for Scottie McMullet, I think I'll create him in my boxing videogame as a human punching bag.

At 7:50 PM , Blogger Karen said...

So...did you take your "virgin treasure" and meet up with him in the "south wing"...enquiring minds want to know!

This was a hoot, Franny. Great work, as usual.


At 9:38 AM , Blogger Motherkitty said...

My husband, Tomas, made me come to your site. Said it was really, really funny. Well, I almost wet my pants when I read your posts and flipped over to the Longmire site. We have a friend who is trying to get published in the women's romance arena and will forward this link. I'm still laughing and the tears are flowing down my cheeks. Thanks.


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