Until I Get Mine...
I'm a marked woman. I’ve been walking around all day trailing bad luck in my wake. I know it's Friday the 13th, but everyone AROUND me has been injured, maimed, or otherwise incapacitated. Perhaps fate’s aim is a little off today? Maybe I am simply moving too fast for the hexes to catch me and they’re hitting other people? Consider the following:
- Leaving the library this morning, I walked out the “in” gate, which opened the wrong way for me without incident. But a millisecond later, the person going in the gate I had just exited was violently clotheslined by the gate that would not open – even though HE was going the right way.
- A student needed my help with her laptop, and I did my best. (She even joked about how useless her $1200 machine was.) I carelessly manhandled the laptop, trying to locate the problem. When I was done she took it back carefully, said thanks and turned around to leave and then dropped it with a big SMASH. It was in 3 pieces.
- Wanted to use interac, but managed to scrounge together just enough nickels to pay for my coffee in the cafeteria. After taking my coins, the cashier rammed the cash drawer shut on her fingers just centimetres from my own fingers. (Oh it hurt – I know because she was speaking in tongues while I ran to get ice)
These incidences are more than a little disturbing. The first guy will definitely never father any children, the second girl’s got some ‘splainin to do to daddy, and that poor cashier will be eating through a straw for some time. Oh of course, you’ll say I should hide in a soft, padded room until this bad luck passes. “Watch out Franny,” you’ll say “ those hexes have to catch up with you sooner or later!”
But those that know me well also know that I have a fatalistic yet indomitable spirit that cannot be intimidated by a little peripheral bad luck. In fact, until I get mine, I have much work to do. I’ve decided to call up all the people who have wronged me in the past “just to hang out”.
‘Scuse me, I have a date tonight with an old flame…
posted by Franny @ 6:32 PM
4 Comments
4 Comments:
Oh..you bad girl. You're sooo baaad...but you're such a funny writer. Have you ever considered comedy?
Very funny! I would have liked to have heard what the cashier said, poor thing. When I said, aha, it's Friday the 13th, everybody within earshot backed away from me about 20 feet. I wonder why?
I heard you say hmmmmm roast. Think standing rib roast that has been waiting (frozen) for company since Christmas but I am just now getting to roast it today. If they're really nice to me, my company will also get loaded baked potatoes, fresh garden salad, baked corn casserole, olives (green and black), cheesey Parmesan bread, and fresh baked apple pie with whipped cream. hmmmm good
Oh pasadena, you flatter me but you're SO good for the ego! When I'm famous I'll send you an autograph, kay?
Motherkitty, will you be my mom? Let me know if there are leftovers, I'm up for a 57 hr drive...
Kim, of course I didn't call you! Now if good luck in the form of hot nekked men were coming at me, I would for sure.
Your hubby didn't start calling you Shleprock (sp?) has he? (Am I getting that guy on the Flintstones right - the one where bad things just happened all around him?)
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