Monday, March 06, 2006


There's been an interesting development at my house in the last week. My daughter (age 2) can now turn doorknobs to open doors. Her twin brother has not yet mastered this skill.

And his sister knows it.

So naturally, Natalie lures Nicky into various rooms so that she can then run out and shut him in. Apparently, it's a really fun game. Unless you're the crying, trapped sibling. Or the exasperated, annoyed mommy. So I took matters into my own hands, and jammed all the doors open in various creative ways. On the twins' bedroom door I took an old chewed up 2" thick board book and wedged it right above the upper hinges. That baby was staying open.

Or so I thought.

Pissed that I had spoiled her fun, my daughter pulled and pushed and rammed and heaved at that door until (get this) SHE PULLED IT OFF ITS HINGES. No, I am not kidding. That door is solid maple with solid brass hinges. That door is original to this house. That door survived the Cold War, Vietnam, 6 Star Wars movies, the fall of communism and Y2K.

But it did not survive Natalie.

I mean, why couldn't I have normal children? How did I give birth to the 3 foot tall Savage She-Ra Amazon Woman? Did I walk through some radioactive goop while I was pregnant, or is living in a steel town enough to give your daughters superhuman strength that strikes fear in the hearts of men? And I do mean men, because neither of my sons possess the strength or pure determination of that little girl.

She's got pluck.

She's got moxy.

She's got a mean streak.

Lately she's even taking on the big guy himself: daddy. If he says/does/insinuates anything that is not to her plan, she throws a massive fit, complete with wailing, feeble grasps towards the heavens, rolling on the floor, lamented tableaus, wild stomping and full body collapses to the ground. It really is an entertaining production. I should sell tickets.

In spite of all of this, Natalie seems to value the mommy quotient. If my husband tries to get her to wear two socks of the same color, he gets "the drama". Five minutes later, I request the exact same thing, and she cheerfully complies, no fuss. Maybe she knows I don't buy it? Maybe she recognizes a more sophisticated arsenal?

Actually, I think it's more likely she knows we're outnumbered in this house, and we girls gotta stick together.


At 5:14 PM , Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Welcome to the terrible twos Franny. The testing of the wills begins and she finds daddy an easier mark than mommy. And believe me...daddy will soften up and he'll be puddy in the hands of his sweet Natalie...she'll have him wrapped around her little finger.

Did she really tear the door off it's hinges?

At 5:50 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

perhaps she realizes that she can learn much from her long as she plays nice for her!

Wow! The door off the hinges?!?!?!?! I've seen that door...that's impressive.

At 3:17 PM , Blogger Pete Mitchell said...

Okay. Remind me not to piss off your daughter.

And poor Cat. My heart goes out to him. My nephew still cries whenever he sees me; but nobody else. It does break your heart. Your hubby's hurting Fran. Go to him. Comfort him. Give him pity sex. It won't take away his pain; but it'll help.

At 2:30 PM , Anonymous Cataldo said...

Okay, well, something else has popped up. Myself, and his great-grandparents, are Nicky's greatest champions. All three of us know that he's the underdog, and we root for him whenever we can. Well, that paid off. Earlier this week, during one of Natalie's slam-and-awe attacks on Nicky, the tables turned. After luring Nicky into a room and shutting him in, Natalie was looking pretty smug, smoking a stogie, enjoying another successful mission. Then it happened. We heard a banshee-cry from the closed room. And I am not joking here, Nicky literally tore the door off the hinges, ran up to Natalie, and SLUGGED her! Something in him must've snapped. While I do not condone fighting among my kids, and I usually punish them if they intentionally hurt one another, I was doubled over, laughing so hard that I was crying. And I can't be sure, but I think that Nicky took Natalie's stogie, came up to me, and high-5ed me. Now that's one for the underdogs!


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