Monday, February 20, 2006

Choose the Chunk

My hubby and I went grocery shopping today, at the now infamous dollar sale at No Frills. My blog buddy, Peter, who moonlights as a stocker, knows all too well the violence that can occur over the last Minute Maid Orange Juice (only $1!) , or the Michelina's frozen fettucine alfredo (only $1). I am sure you can imagine the need for a 6-item "per family" limit, especially when the pint of French Vanilla Real Dairy Ice cream is only, you guessed, it, one dollar! But where there are rules, there are always rule-breakers. People have no problem asking their 4-yr-old to stand in the next line to buy more ice cream:

Timmy: "Mommy, the cashier-lady wants to know if we're the same family."
Mother: "I don't know this child. Who are you anyways?"
Timmy: (crying) "Mommy!!??"
Mother: "Go pay for your ice cream!"

So we loaded up our bright yellow grocery cart with sale items, and I wandered off to find something to make for dinner. When I relocated my hubby, he was standing in front of the wall 'o' tuna, looking confused. As I approached, I realized he had a recipe in his hand and he was muttering to himself:

It calls for tuna...

There was tuna in oil, in water, with salt, without salt, expensive tuna, cheap tuna, light tuna, dark tuna, albacore tuna, and tuna in a jar. Dressed tuna, with mayo, with mustard, with dill and even with thai chili sauce ('no frills' my ass!). When we sorted out what type of tuna to get, he asked me "chunk tuna or flaked tuna"?

And then it happened. You know those times when the deep meaning of something hits you, and really didn't expect it? This happened to us, when, like a wise man atop a mountain somewhere in Tibet, I heard myself say these words:

"Remember, you can always flake the chunk but you can't chunk the flake."

Okay, it sounds stupid, but suddenly, the universe made a little more sense to both of us. It was about choices. You have to make the choices that give you the most options. Like cutting your hair a little at a time. It's easy to cut more, impossible to cut less.

Like keeping in touch with that friend who always forgets to call you. You can't unburn a bridge.

Like forgiving yourself for buying 6 pints of icecream. Each.

Imagine, the whole universe, summed up in tuna. I think "choose the chunk" will be my zen meditation for the week:

Kids driving me nuts? Choose the chunk.

Boss on my ass? Choose the chunk.

Pants too tight? Choose the chunk.

My wish for you, gentle reader, is that when you are faced with stress and challenges throughout your week, I hope that you too choose the chunk.


At 9:50 PM , Blogger Motherkitty said...

I also went grocery shopping today with husband. Since I already had two cans of chunk albacore in water at home, I had a hard time finding something else that was chunk. I did manage, however, to buy a chunk of pot roast and a chunk of pork roast. The other chunk I was able to buy was a very large chunk of blackberry chunk ice cream and a chunk of Boston cream cake. Now we're all chunked out.

You know I always say the same thing about spices. You can always add more later on but you can't take them out once they're in. Like when you make chili. Too much of a good thing, and you're stuck with chili that's too hot/spicy and unfit to eat.

I don't think any of this made any sense. Maybe I lost a chunk of brain cells today with all the shopping I did.

At 11:10 PM , Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

Well, I got to read two funny posted by Franny and the funny comment by Motherkitty. I'm all chunked out.

The choices with Tuna are astounding...You can't go buy anything simple anymore...there are just too many choices. It makes shopping a chore and it give me a headache. You certainly just can't send your husband after something.

I sometimes forget myself what exactly it was that I bought and liked so well, so I save a piece of the packaging and tac it to my grocery list. I look like a vagabond walking thru the grocery store with pieces of packaging hanging all over me. Sometimes people probably think that I've eaten these things in the store. You while you shop?

I use to let the kids, sometimes, eat a candybar, if they were good and, when we got to the checkout, I would hand the clerk the empty wrappers.

When there is a sale, my hubby and I separate at the checkout lane...go out to the car...drop off the goods...and come back in and do it again. Kids are never around when you need them.

Another wonderful post Franny. Don't stay away for so long!! I start having withdrawal symptoms.

At 8:36 AM , Blogger bornfool said...

"Choose the chunk" is similar to the old adage: Measure twice, cut once.

At 6:47 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

All hail the Chunk!....

(course Ben is wondering what the fuss was about because it was all it was all good!)


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