Thursday, February 09, 2006

No Resistance

"It is possible to commit no errors and still lose. That is not a weakness. That is life."

Many of life's most profound realizations occurred to me while in solitude. Alone and tired, overwhelmed by the world, I would seek enlightenment by curling up with a cup of warm tea, my favourite blanket and then watching Star Trek: The Next Generation. The horror! Stop the presses! Franny's a TREKKIE!!! (we prefer 'Trekker' actually...mwaaaa ha ha!)

I am not the only one. A good few of you out there are loud and proud of your TNG habit, and Kim, you know who I'm talking about! Those of you that don't get it, that's ok too. See, Star Trek has taught us to be accepting of all cultures and backgrounds, and if we can have peaceful relations with snobby 7-foot-tall slimy exoskeleton grasshoppers, then we can surely get along with you too!

It seems that everywhere I've been, I've found Star Trek. I used to work in a bookstore, and when we had "Lead Meetings" I always thought it kinda felt like the "bridge officers" in the "ready room" (ok, it was a disgusting lunch room and salary-wise, we were all far off from being "officers"), but you get my point. I always fancied myself a Deanna Troi type character. I know everyone's woes, counsel them, read their thoughts, have the long dark locks and brown, soulful eyes...but I lack the boobage. I've befriended a "Dr. Crusher" in my life, and had the dubious pleasure of meeting quite a few Worfs.

In terms of species though, I think I'd make a wicked Romulan - passionate, intelligent, strategic. My husband says I would make a good Bejoran because I'm determined resourceful and scrappy. He fancies himself a Cardassian - big, masculine, fallen from grace, solid as a I the only one getting ideas here????

But I digress. (*frantically calling costume shop*) My kids are Klingons, no doubt about it. They're capable of incredible loyalty and courage, yet willing to fight to the death over the last marshmallow. In fact, I think I've even heard Nicky growl, as he climbed the corner unit to reach the remote control, "perhaps today IS a good day to die!" My husband and I even call WalMart "the Borg". Its a play on the fact that the stores kinda all look the same, and once you go there, you are "assimilated" by the low low prices. Not to mention the over-worked, over-tired, trudging employees you sometimes see there, and the way they "mark" you at the front door with those little stickers...damn creepy smiley face...

Me: "Honey, we need socks and toilet paper!"
Hubby: "Great! Let's go to the Borg."
Me: "The crappy Borg or the Ancaster Borg?"
Hubby: "Well d'uh! Ancaster! Should we take the kids to the Borg?"
Me: "Of course! You know how much they love those stickers!"

When we talk like this in public, which we do, you can imagine the confused looks we get from non-trekkers. But what's more fun are the horrified looks from the people who DO understand. Yes we're nerds. But, ahh, I'm so happy I married Barclay...

I cried during Star Trek: First Contact. No, not when someone died, or lost a love, etc etc. But when the alien pulled down its hood, and you just knew humanity was saved because there were Vulcans on that flying saucer! (*Note to my patient non-trekker readers: Don't worry, my next post will be "normal" again!) And that quote at the top of the page? You got it, that's from Star Trek: TNG too. When Data the android loses a match after he played a perfect game, that's what the captain tells him. Sometimes, I need to hear it too. Because:

"If you can't take a little bloody nose, maybe you oughta go back home and crawl under your bed. It's not safe out here. It's wondrous, with treasures to satiate desires both subtle and gross; but it's not for the timid." -Q

I have been assimilated. Resistance is futile...


At 9:36 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

alright Franny, since you've implicated me, I'll fess up: I too am a Trekker. I've been a fan of TNG for many years now...even got my dad into watching it.

If I had to choose, I'd like to be a Betazoid. I think I would've made a very good ship's counselor...course I too lack the Deanna Troi boob action, but that's ok. I couldn't pull off those dresses anyways.

I find the whole concept that drives all of the shows so amazing - universal (pun intended) messages of peace and goodwill, a drive to see what's out there, to constantly learn, yet there is no perfection. Mistakes are made. It's all very human.

At 9:56 PM , Blogger Franny said...

Hey bee-atch, I'm Deanna Troi! You can be the doctor because of the red hair (yes, you are the Dr. Crusher I mentioned in the post). Or you can be Lwaxana, my mom! You go, you sexy babe!

At 8:36 AM , Blogger Mark Leslie said...

Franny -- I have to admit that during those "Lead meetings" you talk about in the crappy lunch room, I got through the tedious nature of them by imaging the very same setting as you and I did picture you as Deanna Troi.

I imagined myself as Riker, of course, but with my hair loss, perhaps I looked more like Picard.

At 12:01 PM , Blogger Abandoned in Pasadena said...

May the force be with you!!!

At 12:45 PM , Blogger bornfool said...

I too am a trekker, but only TNG. I never liked the original much nor any of the other offshoots.
I like the idea of calling wallyWorld the Borg, very fitting.

At 9:26 PM , Blogger Kimberly said...

whoa there Franster...slow down! I said I would like to be a betazoid, not Deanna Troi!! And certainly not her mother... although Majel Barret is awesome!

But I'd settle for Crusher...she's pretty cool too!

At 4:21 AM , Blogger Christopher said...

Ya know, I never thought of it that way, but now that you mention it, I think you're right about the Wal-Mart / Borg connection. Come to think of it, every time I go to Wal-Mart, the employees all fail to notice my presence, and completely ignore me. I guess they don't consider me a threat. I wonder what they would do if I tried to make an obvious shoplifting attempt? hehehehe. (Non-Trekkers: It's just one of those things, sorry. If you were a Trekker, you'd know what I meant, and you'd be laughing right now, trust me.)

I've managed to talk Magda into watching two episodes with me so far (both from season one): Encounter at Farpoint, and Haven. She seemed to like Haven; I guess that's because that episode has some very "Jane-Austenish" elements to it, and is more of a social episode than a laser-fight episode. I'll make a Trekker out of her yet!! :) And you guys have to help me!! Hehehehe.

As for myself, I'd be like Spock, half-Human / half-Vulcan. I have my analytical, logical side, but every once in awhile my emotions show through :) And I would probably be a communications officer, since I am so long-winded :)

At 12:00 AM , Anonymous Cataldo said...

Hands down, I'm Barclay (and for those who remember, the actor, Dwight Schultz, was Howling Mad Murdock in the A-Team, a character that many people thought was based off me). For all those uber-trekkies, I have a website for all of you. is great. It's a fan site dedicated to bring back Kirk, so he could "die" properly. They have a great trailer (great is a relative term. It's cheesy-great. You just have to see it). It's a cool, fan made mini-movie on how they want to bring Kirk back, tying in many element's of Star Trek. Check it out. I liked it (considering i'm probably a cross between Barclay and H.M. Murdock, I like wierd things). Live long and prosper, y'all.


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