Mother Wolf

My wise, gentle, peace-loving little 2 1/2 year old son is gonna change the world. Well, as soon as we get over his fast-moving problem. See, give him an inch of free rein and he runs. Away. Fast. No sense of danger, no fear of strangers, no idea what fast-moving traffic could do to him. Let go of his hand in the front yard, and he's GONE like a shot, always in a straight line, even if that line crosses a major freeway or a 100-ft deep lake, and no amount of screaming or shouting can stop him. One time, he was knee deep in a creek in Kingston by the time I caught up with him.

As many of you know, Nicky has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS, a condition that falls under the umbrella of the autism spectrum. We are very lucky that he is quite verbal and social, though he often prefers to pull his blankie over his head to shut the world off when it gets to be too much. (I believe having a fiery twin sister and older brother has really helped Nicky to feel safe and confident in his world.) Like many children with PDD, he is obsessed with trains and things in straight lines... he adores numbers and counting and elevators. Socially, he doesn't stand up for himself, making him an easy target for bullies. He takes a bit of coaxing to join in with a group, and comes across as extrememly shy, but once he joins, he has more fun than anyone else. He has a toothy smile that runs from ear to ear, and his eyes light up this with wild joy that fills everyone around him with the same happiness. He is my peaceful child, untroubled, of gentle-spirit, undemanding, and when things get really tough for him, his solution is to put mommy under the blanket too. He often abruptly stops playing, comes to rest his head on my chest for a few minutes, and then goes back to his playing when he is "recharged".

Anyhow, my hubby was on the night shift and he dropped us all off at my mom's for the day so he could sleep and we could be taken care of (I'm in a lot of pain with a pinched nerve in my back--see prev. post.) After a couple hours sleep, hubby came to pick us up. In the confusion of getting ready to head home, Nicky got out the side door and took off down the BUSY street. I was the only one who saw this, and I screamed for help and took off after him, chasing him for about a block before my hubby saw what had happened and caught him. So today, my son is safe, and I write this post barely able to lift an arm and with at least 2 more weeks of recovery ahead of me due to the damage I did to myself yesterday.

We've all heard the story of the mom who singlehandedly lifted a car to save her child trapped underneath. I used to think it was an urban legend. But up until that moment when I saw my son running away, I could barely stand. And suddenly, I was running, chasing him, and the pain was just...well, exquisite, but it didn't matter. When faced with the option of waiting for help, or taking off after him in spite of the pain, there was no choice.

I have met the mother wolf, and she is me.